At this time next year, I will be committed to a university, dealt with the endless applications for scholarships and financial aid to pay for said college, and get ready to have all my friends split apart due to different paths in life. It is a scary thing. The path that was started in 2013 is officially ending in 2026 and while 13 years seems like a long time, the lived experience does not.
A younger me thought that by this time of year, I would’ve had everything under control. I would know where I wanted to go to college, what major I want to pursue, and have the perfect plan laid out right in front of me. I’m nowhere near close to that goal that the ambitious 9 year old me set.
I’ve always been a person who likes structure and plans. Spontaneous things with billions of outcomes scared me because I would overthink, and wonder if I made the right decision or not. Unfortunately, that’s the way life works. Nothing is ever set in stone, you just have to learn to adapt and adjust. I would say I’ve gotten better at spontaneous things happening and dealing with them, but in the back of my mind, there’s still a stressed out younger version of me who’s meticulously calculating the best possible outcome while only being able to think of negative ones.
The pressures of having to get ready to choose a college really started setting in with the mass amount of emails from different colleges started flooding my inbox. It started off basic, with maybe one email a day from some college in the United States. Now it’s turned into them sending me actual mail to my address, infiltrating my personal email. and having 90% of the emails I get do not even come from Google Classroom, but from these colleges. It’s made me realize that more research needs to be done to actually choose which college I want.
Social media advertisements and posts don’t help the situation. When I’m just trying to enjoy my time doom scrolling, educational content creators, giving tips on different exams in my future just stresses me out as it further pushes the point of making next year count. Not even for memories, but for making sure all my ducks are in a row for college.
Senior year is supposed to be the most freeing, which makes sense in the context of “you’re finally graduating” and that 13 years of your life’s work is presented in front of your friends and family on a piece of paper. However, it’s confusing when you throw in all the applications, letters of recommendation, fear of rejection from colleges, and the uncertainty of it all. Too many “what if’s” flow in the air that I don’t even know where to start on deciding which path is best.
To end off, junior year feels like it was the beginning of the end. I learned a lot about myself and got better at time management. More or less because it was forced onto me but it’s still a good skill to have. Journalism has taught me a lot about writing and it has made reading news articles feel easier as I can tell when the author is describing their points. I’m excited for senior year and all the exclusive events but before that, it starts this summer. 12 years of basic education have been completed, one more is left, but probably 4 more years after that.
