My older brother Zesen is 7 years older than me, and while he has always been a supporting brother, over the past few years he’s taken the initiative, and became a father figure to me.
Even though my dad has lived in China ever since I was born, Zesen and I haven’t always lived together, which has drifted us apart at times. When I was in 3rd grade my Mom moved to Chinatown because it was closer to her work and my brother went with her since it was easier for him to get to school, while I stayed with my grandparents. During that time I would only see him on weekends when we would play video games together.
But our relationship started to change when I got to high school; I started to really depend on Zesen being there for me, especially when my mom and I weren’t getting along. She and I would fight about the littlest things, but Zesen would be there to compromise for both of us. He helped me through my frustrations and didn’t disregard my feelings which drew us closer together.
When I got to high school, Zesen really knew he had to take responsibility as he knew I still needed to mature. He helped me learn the importance of self-discipline, and spatial awareness, as well as teaching me how to handle my finances. If I ever did anything stupid, he would be the one yelling at me in absence of my Dad. But at the same time he also tells me that if I need anything let him know; even if I want to start a new hobby, he will sponsor it.
This summer, Zesen moved back home for a month so that he could take care of me because my Mom went to China without us. During this time, we grew closer than ever. We shopped for groceries together, went out for walks, and went out to eat together. This was a type of parenting I have never experienced before because my Mom is always at work from day to night.
My favorite memory of us was shooting guns together for the first time. We went to Sunnyvale together along with one of his friends and they taught me gun safety and how to defend myself. Along the way, Zesen asked if I had an idea for college yet and said he’d support any major I’m interested in.
Having my brother as a father figure is great, considering he’s close to my age group so he can be so much more understanding than a regular parent. While he’s still my brother, he was also able to fill this void that my Dad never filled and for that, I am forever appreciative.
