Since the day I was born, my parents have never let me out of their sight. Every bus ride ever taken has to be accompanied by them to and from school. Every time I want to go out with my friends, my parents feel the need to escort me, even though the bus stop is half a block away. Its always felt like they don’t trust me to do anything on my own, as if I were made of glass and need to be wrapped in caution tape. I’ve always felt like I needed independence so I would be able to adapt to life in college, but it felt like my parents were never going to be ready to let me loose.
My parents have told me the reason why they’re so overprotective of me because I’m their only child. Their exact words wherever I ask to do something independently usually contain the words, “because you’re our only child”. When I tried comparing my situation to my friends, my parents counter by saying they have more than one child. At that point, my will to argue drains and I accept defeat.
But it all changed this past spring break when my parents finally let me travel to Lake Tahoe, as part of a college tour program, without parental supervision. The last time something like this happened was during 5th grade on our overnight camping trip, and even then my parents would text the chaperones every couple of hours to check up on me. This was a huge step for them, and for me, as it was going to be my first time being hours away from home overnight and them finally letting loose a little bit.
I was joined on the trip by 18 juniors and seniors, along with about 6 program leaders, who felt like they were just part of the group as opposed to adults taking care of us. As someone who’s spent a majority of their time around people who are double, triple, or even quadruple my age range, it felt nice to actually relax for once on break.
Instead of spending everyday with family or cousins who were in their 30’s, I spent time with people who understood my perspective and could see where I was coming from. There were no formal and unspoken rules that needed to be followed, just basic respect. The pressure of having to live up to be the “perfect daughter” vanished from me as I could just be a teenager. Everyone on the trip was always energetic so our AirBNB was always filled with laughter, a far cry from back home where the only noises came from the TV or my parent’s shows and music.
As part of a deal of being able to go on the trip, I had to call my parents twice a day, morning and night, to let them know that I was still okay. I think my parents allowed me to go on this trip because they also knew that we both needed independence from each other. Because I’ve been under my parent’s supervision since the day I was born, I was never allowed to do basic tasks such as cook because they deemed it “too dangerous”.
These 4 days of being hours away from home was only just a small taste of what college will look like. The first night when I called them felt weird. The house sounded quiet from my end and my parents sounded sad in a way. It made me feel like I made the wrong choice of going on the trip hearing how my parents sounded. I felt bad for feeling a sense of freedom when my parents felt a missing piece in their home. If they were like this when I was 3 hours away in the mountains, how would they be when I would go off for college?
But on the car ride back, I found myself reminiscing about the past 4 days. From movie nights to cooking meals & cleaning with others, I really enjoyed the energy shared by everyone, and the organized games done by the program leaders. It felt like what every teenager yearns for during spring break, which is a break from the hectic years of high school. While I missed home, the strict rules and constant helicoptering by my parents made me miss Lake Tahoe even more. I’m glad I got to experience the trip, even if it was only for 4 days.
