I was born mixed, with my dad being a white American and my mother being from Tibet, an occupied nation. Growing up navigating this complicated identity has been an interesting experience.
For those that do not know, Tibet is a large East Asian nation with a unique culture and language that existed in relative isolation for thousands of years due to its location in the Himalaya mountains. Tibet was invaded by Communist China in 1950 and eventually became fully occupied, where it remains in this condition to this day.
My momo-la (grandmother) left Tibet during the invasion when she was only a child, and settled in neighboring India. She was able to build a family and create a life for herself there. Soon all of them immigrated to Canada and the United States, where they remain to this day.
I don’t really look Tibetan or white due to my mixed genetics. Tibetans tend to look East Asian with light brown skin. I have a more European facial shape. Many people I’ve met have thought I was a Latino. Due to the many locations in my family’s story, I’ve frequently been confused on how to identify myself growing up. A lot of people don’t know where Tibet is, which makes sense since it isn’t independent. When I was little and I got asked “where’s Tibet” I often had to scramble to come up with a response that would make sense on the spot. As I’ve matured and I’ve gotten better at both explaining my ethnicity and a summarized history of my nation.
While most Americans may have no idea where Tibet is located, they may be unknowingly familiar with Tibetan culture through the animated tv show Avatar: The Last Airbender, which takes a lot of Tibetan ideas and names. There is even a character named Tenzin, so when I’ve introduced myself to people in the past they’ve frequently said “Like from Avatar?” This similar dynamic exists with many cultures and the media that takes concepts from them, and while some may find this disrespectful I see it as a good way to teach people about Tibet. If they already have an initial interest from the tv series then I can use that to tell them about Tibetan culture and educate them on the current state of Tibet.
One major thing I’ve struggled with is the language. My mother is the only member of her family in San Francisco and the only member of her family married to a non-Tibetan, which means I wasn’t around a lot of Tibetans growing up, in contrast to my cousins. Like a lot of first generation Asians, my cousins tend to speak a mix of Tibetan and English at home, with English being spoken while out and Tibetan being spoken at home. I only ever had English being spoken in my home so I was never able to grasp the language to the same extent. This can make it really hard for me to communicate with my relatives to the same extent that my cousins can. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve felt more of an urge to connect with my culture and heritage. I’ve learned a lot about my nation’s history but I still have a long way to go. I’d like to learn the language in the next few years.
Even though it’s been a bit complicated in the past, I wouldn’t trade my identity for anything. I’m very grateful for my unique upbringing and going forward I’ll be sure to continue informing others about my culture.
